I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
