Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
