Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
