I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
