She announced her abortion via fbk
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
