You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
