So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
