I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
