he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
