some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
