It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize