I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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