you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My vagina is officially offended.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
