Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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