Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
