Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
