goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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