Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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