'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
