No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize