I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
