You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
