ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
