Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
