i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
