Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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(214): View more from Texas

he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

(609): View more from New Jersey

sounds about right

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.

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(437): View more from

sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life

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