Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize