Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
