This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
