i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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