the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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