look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
