I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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