My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
