y did u give ur computer a hand job?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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