let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
