You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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