It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
