I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize