hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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