How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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