dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
