I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
