The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
is it fun? or sober?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize