I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize