He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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