talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
