Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
