so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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