How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
