i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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