i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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