The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
