There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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