I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
