But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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