woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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