One girl and one boy is just not enough.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
