Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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