Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize