u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
