i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
