Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
