im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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