I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize