I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
