so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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