Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
