I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
