I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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