come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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