oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize