you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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