she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
